Elliot explains how Dan responds to email in way he doesn't actually reply.
Cast Appearing
Transcript
| Elliot | Dan receives fan mail on a fairly regular basis. Sadly, he is often slow to respond, or doesn't respond at all. This isn't, however, due to a large ego. |
| Elliot | (Narrating) "Dan often hesitates to respond because he's a bit shy, and he thinks too much about what he should say. He could be thought of as a bear, as in he's more afraid of you than you are of him." |
| Elliot | To help you better understand Dan's process for responding to E-mails, Sarah has been kind enough to create images depicting Dan's four crucial stages of E-mail response! |
| Sarah | As you'll notice, his system could use some work. |
| Phase I: | |
| Dan | Oh, cool! Fan mail! Hmm... I'd better think carefully about how to respond and then reply later... |
| Phase II: | |
| Dan | Hee-hee-hee--!!! |
| Phase III: | |
| *crickets chirping* | |
| Phase IV: | |
| Dan | "El Goonish Shive"?! What the--?! Is this bum calling me a goon?! |