Goonmanji is the seventh story arc in EGS:NP. It opened on Jun 22nd, 2004, and closed on Aug 21st, 2004, for a total of 21 comics.


The arc was introduced by Tedd, who explained that while some NP stories fit into the story continuity, but this story "does not, and never will, fit into the main continuity". The reader was thus warned that the arc included "gratuitous mayhem" (the kind Tedd likes) and would not carry over any consequences to the main story.

While shopping for a toothbrush, Tedd wandered into an interesting looking shop. After hearing that the only toothbrush sold would change his teeth and jaws with every use, he thought that sounded too pricey and was about to leave when he found a board game. The shopkeeper described it as "an evil, cursed game that reshapes reality as you play, and cannot end until there is a winner! Doom and terror shall befall all who play this cursed game!" Also seen at the shop is a shoplifter, who tried to steal a soda only to find herself shrunk.

Back at Tedd's house, Elliot called Sarah and, after a little convincing (including noting that the story is not in continuity), got her to agree to come over and play the game with him and Grace. Tedd initially did not think reading the rules was necessary, but after he read a card that said "Read the rules, or the owl will eat you", and an owl his size appeared next to him, glaring and hooting ominously, he relented.

In the first turn, Elliot's card changed him into a girl based on what Tedd thought in his mind (and "got off easy" based on that fact), and Sarah's card changed her into a kitten. Grace's card was supposed to change her into a squirrel-like humanoid, but as she was already in her half-squirrel form, nothing changed. As such, she decided to use her morphing powers to change into complete human form, highly annoying the gods of the game as they've never had to deal with a shapeshifter before. Tedd finished the turn by drawing a card that caused all female humans (at that point Elliot and Grace) to cuddle obsessively. While he called the card the "Best. Card. Ever!", kitten-Sarah came at him with a hammer but due to her size and shape was unable to use it.

Next turn, Elliot drew a card that let him undo one transformation. Despite pleading mewing from Sarah, he chose to undo his own transformation. Sarah, who had trouble rolling and moving due to her cat form, drew a card saying the gods were sick of her taking so long, returning her to human form (and putting her under the effect of the Best Card Ever). The card Grace drew next caused everyone's souls to switch to switch bodies, causing Grace/Elliot and Sarah/Tedd to switch. Play continued based on mind/soul, meaning Sarah-as-Tedd went next. Before playing again, Sarah decided she didn't like seeing Elliot and Tedd (in Grace and Sarah's bodies) cuddle due to the effects of the best card ever, and killed the libido of the gods by using Tedd's body to kiss Grace-as-Elliot on the lips, thus making the gods immediately cancel the Best Card Ever, which had the side effect of completely destroying Tedd-as-Sarah's and Elliot-as-Grace's libido as well. Finally, the card Sarah-as-Tedd drew said that the gods were angry at her sneakiness, thus transforming Tedd's body into a female. While the gods meant this as punishment, Sarah rejoiced at being female again.

The game had enjoyed upsetting Sarah so, as it started failing to do so, it lost its ingenuity and will to torment. Eventually, Sarah (who had been cursed with two fox tails and four arms in female-Tedd's body) finally won the game, causing all transformations to be undone. However, everyone's souls were still trapped in their switched bodies, as the gods argued that the soul-switching was not a physical transformation, and thus they would have to play again if they wanted to undo the switch. Instead, they decided to go watch "The Simpsons".

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