Summary EditDan had joined a MUD and faced his first challenge, creating a new character. During this process he was teased by a Jinn. After trying and failing to name himself Dan, he chose to go with Darkshive. After that he had to choice his race and job, after hearing a long list of possible choices Dan went with A Cat Person Monk. The final choice was gender, Dan tried to go as a male, but had the female gender forced on him by the Jinn.
Once he was in the game he took the advice of the Jinn and walked around for experience, but he soon got bored and attacked a gnome. After being soundly defeated, Dan went to train under a martial arts master. After a lot of painful training involving chasing a greased chicken, eating a mystery object, dancing outside in the nude during a full moon, watching every episode of "Jackass", and wearing a 40-kilo turtle shell, he soon got his skill mastery to 15%.
Later, Dan went to a pub and agreed to play a game of chess with a giant on the condition that the giant would have to promise not to step on him if he won. While he was there, a Bard began to play a sweet song which entranced Dan until he kissed the bard. When he found out what the bard had done, Dan attacked with a Chi blast but accidentally got a dragon caught in the blast.
After getting kicked out of the bar, Dan heard a voice in his mind. The voice told him he liked his comic, and explained to him that he was a fellow player and if Dan wanted to talk back he had to type "reply" before his reply. Once Dan learned how to talk telepathically, he and the voice decided to join forces as a party. The voice wanted to meet at the pub, but Dan told him he couldn't go back there. Once they met the voice was revealed to be a Tanooki a raccoon, chosen because of all the cool emotes. Once they teamed up they discovered that neither one of them was good enough to be a party leader, so they went to look for a party leader. When Tanooki saw a character that looked like something from his nightmares, Dan knew he had found the perfect leader for the group. When asked if he wanted to join the party, the scary shadowy character nodded, which Dan took as a good sign. Once Dan danced, he and Tanooki set themselves to "follow" their leader, who then moved much faster then they expected.
When they stopped moving, they found themselves in a cave with a quest to help the gnomes by destroying the dread gnome whacker. Once they completed the quest which included belly dancers, great danger, and wardrobe malfunctions. When they went to the king gnome to tell him about their quest, he was less than grateful, so Dan and the party decided to attack them. After 10 seconds, Dan and Tanooki were forced to run away due to critical health loss. By the time they got back, the shadowy leader had defeated all of them.
They continued to play until Dan started to see dirty limericks and communist propaganda in the text. The next time they played, Dan was the leader and they were being attacked by a T-Rex.